1 00:00:25,939 --> 00:00:28,476 You're not real. 2 00:00:30,444 --> 00:00:33,079 Weren't your eyes green? 3 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,517 And your hair? 4 00:00:36,050 --> 00:00:37,317 You weren't what I thought. 5 00:00:37,318 --> 00:00:39,586 A real person would never say that. That proves it. 6 00:00:39,587 --> 00:00:41,955 You weren't what I thought. Weren't your eyes green? 7 00:00:41,956 --> 00:00:44,491 That proves it. A real person would never say that. 8 00:00:44,492 --> 00:00:46,527 I get to make it whatever I want. That proves it. 9 00:00:46,528 --> 00:00:48,630 A real person would never say that. 10 00:00:59,941 --> 00:01:03,712 The things is, even after everything, 11 00:01:04,945 --> 00:01:06,947 I wanted to believe. 12 00:01:09,116 --> 00:01:11,484 Duct-taped to a chair, 13 00:01:11,485 --> 00:01:13,687 inches from oblivion, 14 00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:16,825 I still wanted to believe her. 15 00:01:19,494 --> 00:01:22,897 It's a myth that we use only 5% of our brains. 16 00:01:22,898 --> 00:01:25,934 Ask anyone who's lost even the smallest bit. 17 00:01:27,068 --> 00:01:30,169 No, we use pretty much all of it, 18 00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:32,139 and usually that's not enough. 19 00:01:34,175 --> 00:01:38,778 We never catch the turtle who sits on the turtle who sits on the... 20 00:01:38,779 --> 00:01:40,015 Yeah. 21 00:01:41,047 --> 00:01:43,451 It's turtles all the way down. 22 00:01:47,755 --> 00:01:49,758 A lot to learn. 23 00:01:51,057 --> 00:01:53,093 A moment too late. 24 00:02:08,309 --> 00:02:09,811 Are you ready? 25 00:02:12,013 --> 00:02:14,814 What did you have for breakfast this morning, Mr. Herzman? 26 00:02:14,815 --> 00:02:16,115 Who cares about that? 27 00:02:16,116 --> 00:02:18,217 I'm just getting sound levels. 28 00:02:18,218 --> 00:02:21,756 Ham and eggs, like every morning. 29 00:02:22,857 --> 00:02:24,626 Ok. 30 00:02:25,926 --> 00:02:28,661 The trains were hell. 31 00:02:28,662 --> 00:02:31,131 But even hell has levels. 32 00:02:31,132 --> 00:02:34,701 Some are in the middle of the car, 33 00:02:34,702 --> 00:02:37,870 and they're probably not going to make it. 34 00:02:37,871 --> 00:02:43,644 The heat from the bodies... Their hell is worse. 35 00:02:44,345 --> 00:02:48,280 But my father pushed me to the edge. 36 00:02:48,281 --> 00:02:51,584 There wasn't a window there, but there were slats, 37 00:02:51,585 --> 00:02:56,155 and through the slats sometimes a breath of fresh air. 38 00:02:56,156 --> 00:02:57,791 Heaven. 39 00:02:59,226 --> 00:03:02,663 We stopped at a station somewhere. 40 00:03:03,798 --> 00:03:06,198 Standing still is worse than moving, 41 00:03:06,199 --> 00:03:09,738 even if you're moving to something bad. 42 00:03:11,271 --> 00:03:15,109 A bit of light hit my eye, 43 00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:19,548 so I squeezed closer to the slat. 44 00:03:20,146 --> 00:03:22,715 Then suddenly... 45 00:03:22,716 --> 00:03:26,953 a beautiful face appears... 46 00:03:26,954 --> 00:03:29,888 with innocent blue eyes. 47 00:03:29,889 --> 00:03:31,792 An angel. 48 00:03:32,692 --> 00:03:35,161 But I didn't believe in angels, 49 00:03:35,162 --> 00:03:39,768 even then when I was a boy, certainly not in this place. 50 00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:46,339 The Herzman story had been featured in a local paper and was picked up nationally. 51 00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:49,777 Before they knew it, they had a book deal, and there was talk of a movie. 52 00:03:49,778 --> 00:03:51,945 I thought it'd make an interesting documentary. 53 00:03:51,946 --> 00:03:53,548 History Channel? That kind of thing? 54 00:03:53,549 --> 00:03:55,148 Yeah. 55 00:03:55,149 --> 00:03:57,716 Internet says you make movies. 56 00:03:57,717 --> 00:04:00,352 Normally. I prefer fiction. 57 00:04:00,353 --> 00:04:02,221 Why is that? 58 00:04:02,222 --> 00:04:04,024 It's more believable. 59 00:04:07,894 --> 00:04:09,828 I was late, as usual, 60 00:04:09,829 --> 00:04:13,298 hustling to make the 9:40 to Hudson where the Herzmans lived. 61 00:04:13,299 --> 00:04:15,901 In the city, you're always in a hurry. 62 00:04:15,902 --> 00:04:19,706 Gotta get to that meeting, business lunch, the ATM. 63 00:04:19,707 --> 00:04:22,777 People are just obstacles, inconveniences. 64 00:04:23,977 --> 00:04:29,184 And every now and then, a face you can't get out of your mind. 65 00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:31,450 Who is this person, 66 00:04:31,451 --> 00:04:34,320 and how did our trajectories cross? 67 00:04:34,321 --> 00:04:37,587 What histories does she bring, and what myths might we create... 68 00:04:37,599 --> 00:04:38,957 if only given the chance? 69 00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:44,029 And you want to say something, but you can't find the words. 70 00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:46,667 You're just not that guy. 71 00:04:47,902 --> 00:04:51,404 So she'll always be a face among faces, a cipher. 72 00:04:51,405 --> 00:04:54,375 You'll never talk on the phone, recognize her scent. 73 00:04:54,376 --> 00:04:57,776 You won't face each other over a bistro table, 74 00:04:57,777 --> 00:05:01,148 taste the Malbec, learn each other's favorite color. 75 00:05:02,850 --> 00:05:07,420 She is, in short, every girl you'll never know, 76 00:05:07,421 --> 00:05:09,124 never love. 77 00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:13,259 Better never to have seen her at all. 78 00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:16,396 Now you understand the ancient wisdom... 79 00:05:16,397 --> 00:05:18,800 Rip out the offending eye. 80 00:05:19,766 --> 00:05:24,805 Except I'd captured her in my camera. 81 00:05:31,277 --> 00:05:34,749 And like that, she was gone. 82 00:05:42,989 --> 00:05:47,392 I was getting some B-roll, and she was just a face across the platform. 83 00:05:47,393 --> 00:05:50,096 No reason to believe you'd ever see her again. 84 00:05:50,097 --> 00:05:52,899 There are physicists who believe there are universes like ours... 85 00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:55,000 but with one or two things changed. 86 00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:57,971 I thought maybe there was a universe where we might meet. 87 00:05:57,972 --> 00:06:00,139 I didn't think it'd be this one. 88 00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:02,074 Other universes? 89 00:06:02,075 --> 00:06:03,810 Yeah. 90 00:06:03,811 --> 00:06:05,344 That what you believe? 91 00:06:05,345 --> 00:06:07,880 I find it comforting. 92 00:06:07,881 --> 00:06:11,819 For simplicity's sake, let's keep to this universe. 93 00:06:13,052 --> 00:06:18,423 It was a little girl, maybe five or six, 94 00:06:18,424 --> 00:06:21,929 with pretty blonde curls. 95 00:06:22,797 --> 00:06:28,567 She peered at me through the slat, 96 00:06:28,568 --> 00:06:32,874 a boy only a little older than she. 97 00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:38,545 What must she have thought of this train... 98 00:06:38,546 --> 00:06:41,216 and its strange cargo? 99 00:06:42,349 --> 00:06:45,385 We looked at each other, 100 00:06:45,386 --> 00:06:48,086 only inches away, 101 00:06:48,087 --> 00:06:52,926 but it might have been different continents. 102 00:06:54,061 --> 00:06:56,863 Then she made a quick motion, 103 00:06:56,864 --> 00:07:01,000 and her small fingers pushed through the slat. 104 00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:03,502 She dropped something into my palm, 105 00:07:03,503 --> 00:07:09,375 and a moment later, as if the universe had known that this moment had ended, 106 00:07:09,376 --> 00:07:12,344 the train started up again. 107 00:07:12,345 --> 00:07:15,014 I looked down at my hand, 108 00:07:15,015 --> 00:07:19,252 and I saw that she had given me... 109 00:07:19,253 --> 00:07:23,258 the little gold cross from around her neck. 110 00:07:27,994 --> 00:07:31,130 There is always a moment when your life changes, 111 00:07:31,131 --> 00:07:33,268 though you may not realize it at the time. 112 00:07:34,234 --> 00:07:35,569 The words spoken, 113 00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:39,206 the light falling across someone's face in a certain way, 114 00:07:39,207 --> 00:07:43,409 the moment you realize you're in love or out of it. 115 00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:47,414 History has turned on its axis, and you will never be the same. 116 00:07:49,415 --> 00:07:51,151 Right there. 117 00:07:52,552 --> 00:07:56,288 Was she getting a speck out of her eye or dabbing at a tear? 118 00:07:56,289 --> 00:08:00,593 That touch, however small, turned into flesh and blood for me... 119 00:08:00,594 --> 00:08:04,096 A soul with a past, a life with an arc. 120 00:08:04,097 --> 00:08:06,666 A pretty girl on a train is one thing, 121 00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:09,871 a crying girl a whole other matter. 122 00:08:11,438 --> 00:08:14,574 I wasn't sure if it was the same girl I'd seen before. 123 00:08:14,575 --> 00:08:16,978 She looked different. 124 00:08:43,336 --> 00:08:44,438 Are you ok? 125 00:08:48,575 --> 00:08:52,013 Sorry. You just... You seemed upset. 126 00:08:55,114 --> 00:08:57,116 You know, trains can make people sad. 127 00:08:57,117 --> 00:09:00,987 It's like in all those country-western songs. 128 00:09:00,988 --> 00:09:03,189 - Country. - Right. 129 00:09:03,190 --> 00:09:06,025 There's always a train, and there's always someone sad. 130 00:09:06,026 --> 00:09:09,430 No. No one's called it country and western in 30 years. 131 00:09:11,398 --> 00:09:13,234 - Well... - Your lens is showing. 132 00:09:16,103 --> 00:09:17,603 It's my job. 133 00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:19,472 If you're a private eye, you suck at it. 134 00:09:19,473 --> 00:09:22,443 Nothing surreptitious. I'm shooting a documentary. 135 00:09:23,377 --> 00:09:25,146 Is it on now? 136 00:09:27,114 --> 00:09:28,647 Camera shy? 137 00:09:28,648 --> 00:09:31,550 Who are those people who believe a photograph captures your soul? 138 00:09:31,551 --> 00:09:33,287 Aborigines. 139 00:09:35,656 --> 00:09:38,023 Pretty sure they're wrong. 140 00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:41,295 What's it about? Your movie. 141 00:09:42,662 --> 00:09:46,099 I guess you could say it's a love story. 142 00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:49,070 I thought documentaries were nonfiction. 143 00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:52,306 That would be cynicism? 144 00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:57,477 You think just because something really happens, it isn't fiction? 145 00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:02,214 I was pretty sure this wasn't your average girl on the commuter line. 146 00:10:02,215 --> 00:10:04,449 She give you any personal details? 147 00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:07,520 She had a way of turning your questions around. 148 00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:09,232 You thought you were talking about her... 149 00:10:09,244 --> 00:10:11,437 but you were really just talking about yourself. 150 00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,628 Why were you crying? 151 00:10:16,629 --> 00:10:18,365 You tell me. 152 00:10:19,465 --> 00:10:21,434 I get to make it whatever I want? 153 00:10:21,435 --> 00:10:23,036 Sure. 154 00:10:23,037 --> 00:10:25,440 Ok. 155 00:10:26,773 --> 00:10:30,276 Seven years ago, you met a man on this very train. 156 00:10:30,277 --> 00:10:34,180 You got to talking, but you never exchanged more than first names. 157 00:10:34,181 --> 00:10:36,782 He gets off at Poughkeepsie. 158 00:10:36,783 --> 00:10:38,535 As he steps onto the platform... 159 00:10:38,547 --> 00:10:41,454 you realize you should have gotten off with him. 160 00:10:41,455 --> 00:10:46,059 He was the guy. He was your one chance to escape the wheel. 161 00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:50,195 But the train's already moving. You've missed your chance. 162 00:10:50,196 --> 00:10:55,068 So you spend weeks looking through the Poughkeepsie directory, 163 00:10:55,069 --> 00:10:57,270 but you've only got his first name. 164 00:10:57,271 --> 00:10:58,873 Which is? 165 00:10:58,874 --> 00:11:00,473 Bob, unfortunately. 166 00:11:00,474 --> 00:11:02,441 If only it were Zebediah. 167 00:11:02,442 --> 00:11:06,712 You call every one of the 373 Roberts, Bobs and Bobbys. 168 00:11:06,713 --> 00:11:08,715 - I would never call a Bobby. - With no luck. 169 00:11:08,718 --> 00:11:12,218 But every day for seven years, 170 00:11:12,219 --> 00:11:15,488 you buy your ticket, you get on the train, 171 00:11:15,489 --> 00:11:17,458 take it to Poughkeepsie, 172 00:11:18,691 --> 00:11:22,228 and then you turn back and head home alone. 173 00:11:22,229 --> 00:11:26,165 Next stop will be Westport. Westport Station in two minutes. 174 00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:27,635 That is such a guy story. 175 00:11:27,636 --> 00:11:29,102 Yeah? 176 00:11:29,103 --> 00:11:32,539 I wouldn't spend that much time tracking someone down if they murdered my mother. 177 00:11:37,377 --> 00:11:40,412 So you're really not gonna tell me? 178 00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:44,249 You know, the difference between trains and planes is, 179 00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:46,752 on a train, if you don't like the conversation, 180 00:11:46,753 --> 00:11:49,056 you can change your seat. 181 00:11:49,656 --> 00:11:52,060 Or get off at the next stop. 182 00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:56,196 Shouldn't ask for your number then? 183 00:11:57,697 --> 00:12:00,067 Let me see your hand. 184 00:12:00,868 --> 00:12:02,286 You gonna tell my fortune? 185 00:12:02,287 --> 00:12:03,703 That's easy. 186 00:12:03,704 --> 00:12:06,873 You'll know moments of joy. You'll lose what you love. You'll die. 187 00:12:06,874 --> 00:12:09,275 Can I get a second opinion? 188 00:12:09,276 --> 00:12:11,344 The other thing about trains is, 189 00:12:11,345 --> 00:12:14,347 you get to see the world passing in real time. 190 00:12:14,348 --> 00:12:16,817 When you're eight miles up, you can convince yourself... 191 00:12:16,818 --> 00:12:19,418 you're still the same person when you get off. 192 00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:43,876 So, a million questions without a questioner, 193 00:12:43,877 --> 00:12:46,878 a hundred replayed nights. 194 00:12:46,879 --> 00:12:49,315 How do I find myself in this sweaty bed? 195 00:12:49,316 --> 00:12:51,883 Who is this person beside me? 196 00:12:51,884 --> 00:12:55,720 Why are there more scars than I remember wounds? 197 00:12:55,721 --> 00:12:59,758 Right. Memory is flawed. 198 00:12:59,759 --> 00:13:03,106 But isn't memory all that knits our moments of existence... 199 00:13:03,118 --> 00:13:04,409 into a sense of self? 200 00:13:05,431 --> 00:13:07,532 Of course, philosophical questions lose power... 201 00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:09,604 when you're staring at your own mortality. 202 00:13:10,736 --> 00:13:13,339 It's one thing to know you're going to die at some point... 203 00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:15,874 in the indeterminate future, 204 00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:20,247 another to watch the clock wind down. 205 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:25,686 And, yeah, I'm not the only dead guy in the room. 206 00:13:26,619 --> 00:13:28,653 So you went back to work? 207 00:13:28,654 --> 00:13:29,988 I had to finish the project. 208 00:13:29,989 --> 00:13:32,224 But now you had a name. 209 00:13:32,225 --> 00:13:33,758 There were no Lexi's in Westport. 210 00:13:33,759 --> 00:13:37,297 There were three Alexandras, but none of them were her. 211 00:13:39,499 --> 00:13:43,768 When we got to the camp, everything is very simple. 212 00:13:43,769 --> 00:13:48,507 A man points left or right, and you live or you die. 213 00:13:48,508 --> 00:13:52,578 For my mother and sisters, death. 214 00:13:52,579 --> 00:13:57,583 I was big enough to work, so my father and I go to the right. 215 00:13:57,584 --> 00:14:01,820 I still held the little cross in my hand, 216 00:14:01,821 --> 00:14:07,292 but I saw that they were taking every little piece of gold they could find... 217 00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:09,494 Rings, bracelets. 218 00:14:09,495 --> 00:14:11,930 You could only keep the fillings in your teeth. 219 00:14:11,931 --> 00:14:14,867 That they took when you were dead. 220 00:14:14,868 --> 00:14:17,969 I decided then and there... 221 00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:23,475 that I would hold on to the little cross the girl had given me, 222 00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:25,712 no matter what. 223 00:14:27,648 --> 00:14:29,683 I slipped it under my tongue. 224 00:14:31,652 --> 00:14:34,453 Having a mission, 225 00:14:34,454 --> 00:14:36,921 even if it's only in your mind, 226 00:14:36,922 --> 00:14:38,758 keeps you alive. 227 00:14:41,394 --> 00:14:43,028 When I wasn't working, 228 00:14:43,029 --> 00:14:45,797 I found myself wandering the streets. 229 00:14:45,798 --> 00:14:50,737 I would think I saw her maybe a dozen times a day. 230 00:14:52,739 --> 00:14:58,446 Somehow, I'd always wind up back at the same place. 231 00:14:59,713 --> 00:15:02,781 I remembered an old photo I'd seen somewhere. 232 00:15:02,782 --> 00:15:04,749 Watch things in real time, 233 00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:07,520 and it's easy to believe we're part of the world, 234 00:15:07,521 --> 00:15:09,954 that our motion is more than random, 235 00:15:09,955 --> 00:15:12,692 our presence more than accidental. 236 00:15:13,859 --> 00:15:16,730 But a long exposure reveals the truth. 237 00:15:17,864 --> 00:15:19,498 We're just ghosts, 238 00:15:19,499 --> 00:15:23,271 illusions we perpetrate in ourselves. 239 00:15:27,874 --> 00:15:31,412 So a guy's getting his morning coffee and paper. 240 00:15:34,748 --> 00:15:37,717 In line in front of him, he sees this vision. 241 00:15:37,718 --> 00:15:40,721 Gorgeous. I mean, right out of the swimsuit edition. 242 00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:43,522 And she's buying a lottery ticket. 243 00:15:43,523 --> 00:15:47,026 He's smitten. Can't get a word out. 244 00:15:47,027 --> 00:15:49,795 He lets her get away. 245 00:15:49,796 --> 00:15:52,464 The next day, he goes back to the store and he asks the owner, 246 00:15:52,465 --> 00:15:54,632 "Do you know the girl who bought the lottery ticket?" 247 00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:57,837 And all the English this guy knows is, "You buy something or get lost." 248 00:15:57,838 --> 00:15:59,171 Right? 249 00:15:59,172 --> 00:16:02,507 Well, our boy figures people are creatures of habit, 250 00:16:02,508 --> 00:16:04,676 so he finds himself the nearest coffee shop, 251 00:16:04,677 --> 00:16:06,712 plants himself where he's got a view of the store, 252 00:16:06,713 --> 00:16:09,650 figuring sooner or later she'll come by for her ticket. 253 00:16:10,649 --> 00:16:12,517 He gets obsessed. 254 00:16:12,518 --> 00:16:14,987 Days turn to weeks. Seasons change. 255 00:16:14,988 --> 00:16:18,123 He shows up late for work. He's unavailable for his friends. 256 00:16:18,124 --> 00:16:23,661 But wouldn't you know it. The day he finally decides to give it all up... 257 00:16:23,662 --> 00:16:24,829 She shows up. 258 00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:27,699 Turns out she was out of town. 259 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:31,503 Let me guess. He never makes his move. 260 00:16:31,504 --> 00:16:32,704 Why? 261 00:16:32,705 --> 00:16:34,873 He sees the future. 262 00:16:34,874 --> 00:16:38,810 They'll have their affair, and in time it'll be no more than that... 263 00:16:38,811 --> 00:16:40,478 An affair. 264 00:16:40,479 --> 00:16:43,849 He can anticipate the purr of her throat, 265 00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:47,485 the scratchy quality of her voice in the morning. 266 00:16:47,486 --> 00:16:50,555 He closes his eyes, and he can almost smell her. 267 00:16:50,556 --> 00:16:54,794 It'll be good, but they have about as much chance... 268 00:16:54,795 --> 00:16:59,632 of making it in the long run as she does of winning the lottery. 269 00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:02,737 Because good is never perfect. 270 00:17:03,603 --> 00:17:05,704 In his fevered mind, he's realized... 271 00:17:05,705 --> 00:17:10,075 the unbridgeable distance between real and ideal. 272 00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:13,979 So he would rather let her walk away with her sad lottery ticket. 273 00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:17,883 He would rather let her live in the purity of his imagination... 274 00:17:17,884 --> 00:17:22,855 than succumb to the spectacle of flesh and blood, scent and sorrow. 275 00:17:22,856 --> 00:17:24,756 He's lost something, sure... 276 00:17:24,757 --> 00:17:29,595 Another conquest, maybe even an enduring relationship. 277 00:17:29,596 --> 00:17:32,532 But think what he gets in return. 278 00:17:33,699 --> 00:17:36,769 He will forever be the man who waited in the snow and rain... 279 00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:39,137 day after day for the lottery girl. 280 00:17:39,138 --> 00:17:42,608 He will be the one who walked away... 281 00:17:42,609 --> 00:17:45,043 at the moment his dream was realized. 282 00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:47,414 He will be mythic. 283 00:17:50,684 --> 00:17:52,885 You want to know what really happens? 284 00:17:52,886 --> 00:17:54,686 Sure. 285 00:17:54,687 --> 00:17:56,821 He's out of that coffee shop so fast, 286 00:17:56,822 --> 00:18:01,060 he sloshes his half-caf latte on his hand, extra hot. 287 00:18:01,061 --> 00:18:04,696 He almost knocks her over, they strike up a conversation, and they begin dating. 288 00:18:04,697 --> 00:18:07,733 Two kids and a summer home in Montauk? 289 00:18:07,734 --> 00:18:13,039 Lasted eight months. "It's not you, it's me." That kind of thing. 290 00:18:14,773 --> 00:18:17,510 What? Don't be smug. He gave it a shot. 291 00:18:17,511 --> 00:18:19,680 My version would've lasted forever. 292 00:18:20,847 --> 00:18:22,514 Now I know your secret. 293 00:18:22,515 --> 00:18:24,584 Didn't know I had one. 294 00:18:25,651 --> 00:18:28,588 You'd rather have a great story than a great love. 295 00:18:30,924 --> 00:18:34,527 You didn't think it was odd running into her like that? 296 00:18:34,528 --> 00:18:36,931 I guess I wasn't thinking at all. 297 00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:43,168 What? 298 00:18:43,169 --> 00:18:46,972 I haven't quite figured out if you're a victim or a suspect. 299 00:18:46,973 --> 00:18:50,043 Well, I suppose you could pretty much say that about anyone. 300 00:18:51,110 --> 00:18:52,946 And the lottery ticket? 301 00:18:53,946 --> 00:18:55,683 She won. 302 00:19:03,822 --> 00:19:05,859 You try to find me? 303 00:19:11,164 --> 00:19:13,098 There are no Lexi's in Westport. 304 00:19:13,099 --> 00:19:15,600 I didn't say I lived in Westport. 305 00:19:15,601 --> 00:19:18,037 You gotta give a guy a fair chance. 306 00:19:18,038 --> 00:19:20,541 I found you, didn't I? 307 00:19:22,943 --> 00:19:25,077 You look different. 308 00:19:25,078 --> 00:19:27,245 Different day. 309 00:19:27,246 --> 00:19:29,984 What color was your hair? 310 00:19:31,984 --> 00:19:35,523 Here's the thing about two people meeting on a train. 311 00:19:36,356 --> 00:19:39,124 If they know they'll always be strangers, 312 00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:41,694 it frees them. 313 00:19:41,695 --> 00:19:44,864 You can create me any way you want, and I'll never disappoint. 314 00:19:44,865 --> 00:19:48,101 I could ask you to kill for me, and I won't know if you'll carry it out. 315 00:19:49,668 --> 00:19:51,604 We have no reason to lie to each other... 316 00:19:51,605 --> 00:19:53,707 unless the lie is prettier than the truth. 317 00:19:56,141 --> 00:19:57,775 We're no longer on the train. 318 00:19:57,776 --> 00:19:59,546 No? 319 00:20:01,348 --> 00:20:03,116 How did you find me? 320 00:20:03,117 --> 00:20:07,555 Don't tell me you're one of those New Age types who don't believe in accidents. 321 00:20:10,956 --> 00:20:13,694 You're not gonna ask me to kill someone, are you? 322 00:20:15,128 --> 00:20:17,762 Why don't you show me what you do. 323 00:20:17,763 --> 00:20:20,832 Can I get you a pain pill for that? 324 00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:23,769 Actually, the pain helps me remember. 325 00:20:23,770 --> 00:20:26,772 Sisters at Saint Jude's would agree with you. 326 00:20:26,773 --> 00:20:27,874 Catholic school? 327 00:20:27,875 --> 00:20:28,975 You bet. 328 00:20:33,045 --> 00:20:34,581 Her patron saint. 329 00:20:36,049 --> 00:20:40,653 I held the cross under my tongue... 330 00:20:40,654 --> 00:20:44,923 until there was a bloody sore. 331 00:20:44,924 --> 00:20:47,994 I ate with it... like that. 332 00:20:49,329 --> 00:20:51,129 I slept with it. 333 00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:56,335 Eventually the pain fades and the callous appears. 334 00:20:56,336 --> 00:21:00,973 My father only made it a few weeks. 335 00:21:00,974 --> 00:21:04,409 One morning he refused to work, 336 00:21:04,410 --> 00:21:07,947 and they beat him to death with their rifles. 337 00:21:09,282 --> 00:21:11,718 Bullets were too expensive. 338 00:21:18,023 --> 00:21:21,962 When I was young, my mother used to tell me this story when things got bad. 339 00:21:23,696 --> 00:21:27,967 "The world ended when Jesus hung on the cross," she'd say. 340 00:21:29,234 --> 00:21:31,904 And all of history is just a dream... 341 00:21:31,905 --> 00:21:35,776 in the last instant of a Roman centurion's life. 342 00:21:40,146 --> 00:21:41,312 Coffee? 343 00:21:41,313 --> 00:21:44,249 That's when she asked you to tail Carl Pruitt. 344 00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:46,018 Not at first. 345 00:21:46,019 --> 00:21:49,987 I knew she was hiding something, something from her past. 346 00:21:49,988 --> 00:21:53,125 It wasn't so much what she said... 347 00:21:53,126 --> 00:21:55,696 It was the way she said it? 348 00:21:56,730 --> 00:21:59,766 More the way she didn't say what she didn't say. 349 00:21:59,767 --> 00:22:01,466 You some kind of cop detective? 350 00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:03,119 Yeah. 351 00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:04,770 You don't look like cop. 352 00:22:04,771 --> 00:22:06,905 Yeah? What's a cop look like? 353 00:22:06,906 --> 00:22:10,141 Better dressed. 354 00:22:10,142 --> 00:22:13,177 Guy cheating on his wife. I seen it all right here. 355 00:22:13,178 --> 00:22:14,746 Yeah, I bet you have. 356 00:22:14,747 --> 00:22:17,014 Nothing like stories from cab driver. 357 00:22:17,015 --> 00:22:20,785 One guy tries to strangle hooker in backseat. I say, "Not in my cab." 358 00:22:20,786 --> 00:22:21,987 He say, "I give you big tip." 359 00:22:21,988 --> 00:22:23,187 So what'd you do? 360 00:22:23,188 --> 00:22:27,458 I throw him out. He strangle on street, his business. 361 00:22:27,459 --> 00:22:30,862 Not in my cab. People fucking, ok. 362 00:22:30,863 --> 00:22:34,332 A big tip covers it. Killing? 363 00:22:34,333 --> 00:22:36,435 Yeah, I get it. Not in your cab. 364 00:22:36,436 --> 00:22:38,272 You can bet you. 365 00:22:44,409 --> 00:22:45,946 That's him. 366 00:22:49,349 --> 00:22:51,450 Want to hear strangest story ever? 367 00:22:51,451 --> 00:22:53,185 Does it involve dwarves? 368 00:22:53,186 --> 00:22:54,787 Dwarves? What? 369 00:22:54,788 --> 00:22:59,057 Somehow they always seem to involve dwarves, and they're never true. 370 00:22:59,058 --> 00:23:01,425 This happened 100%. 371 00:23:01,426 --> 00:23:04,329 My brother, he's fucking this girl two years. 372 00:23:04,330 --> 00:23:07,800 Met in spinning class. You know, bicycle doesn't go nowhere? 373 00:23:07,801 --> 00:23:10,068 Only women in these classes. My brother joins for women. 374 00:23:10,069 --> 00:23:14,807 So he's fucking this girl. One night she asks, can her friend join in. 375 00:23:14,808 --> 00:23:18,342 My brother is like winning lottery. 376 00:23:18,343 --> 00:23:20,479 Of course. More is merrier. 377 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,214 Let me guess. The friend is a man. 378 00:23:23,215 --> 00:23:27,886 Man? You crazy? Is more beautiful than one my brother is fucking. 379 00:23:27,887 --> 00:23:30,955 Big tits, everything. So they have wild night. 380 00:23:30,956 --> 00:23:33,591 Everything is on menu, soup till nuts. 381 00:23:33,592 --> 00:23:36,895 My brother thinks he died straight to heaven. 382 00:23:36,896 --> 00:23:40,032 In the morning, I get call. He wakes up, everything's gone... 383 00:23:40,567 --> 00:23:42,967 Girls, wallet, flat-screen. 384 00:23:42,968 --> 00:23:44,802 He calls police, but nothing to do. 385 00:23:44,803 --> 00:23:46,404 Her cell doesn't work no more. 386 00:23:46,416 --> 00:23:49,340 She's gone from spinning class like she never exists. 387 00:23:49,341 --> 00:23:51,076 Let me get this straight. 388 00:23:51,077 --> 00:23:54,180 She's with him for two years so she can steal his TV? 389 00:23:54,181 --> 00:23:58,050 His whole house. Lucky she left him his underwears. 390 00:23:58,051 --> 00:24:00,418 I tell you it was crazy story. 391 00:24:00,419 --> 00:24:02,154 He never found her? 392 00:24:02,155 --> 00:24:04,857 Every day he sees her. 393 00:24:04,858 --> 00:24:08,226 On subway, walking down street. 394 00:24:08,227 --> 00:24:12,063 But never her. One woman he followed for half an hour. 395 00:24:12,064 --> 00:24:13,933 She called police. 396 00:24:15,100 --> 00:24:19,138 My brother is never same. Stopped spinning classes even. 397 00:24:21,506 --> 00:24:24,342 So she had you playing detective? 398 00:24:24,343 --> 00:24:27,914 It wasn't until the next time I saw her that she asked me. 399 00:24:30,082 --> 00:24:32,516 The time in the camps... 400 00:24:32,517 --> 00:24:37,190 stands outside normal time. 401 00:24:44,196 --> 00:24:47,301 The time in the camps... 402 00:24:48,467 --> 00:24:50,435 The time in the camps... 403 00:24:50,436 --> 00:24:54,240 stands outside normal time. 404 00:24:59,478 --> 00:25:00,713 Hello? 405 00:25:00,714 --> 00:25:03,250 Can you meet me? 406 00:25:16,929 --> 00:25:20,132 Where I grew up everything was flat, even the cities. 407 00:25:26,205 --> 00:25:28,540 This seems more honest. 408 00:25:28,541 --> 00:25:29,792 Eye to eye with everyone... 409 00:25:29,804 --> 00:25:32,444 you can convince yourself we're not that different. 410 00:25:32,445 --> 00:25:35,480 Step over a homeless guy to get to your penthouse, 411 00:25:35,481 --> 00:25:36,615 you know better. 412 00:25:36,616 --> 00:25:37,918 Grow up poor? 413 00:25:37,919 --> 00:25:39,219 Shows? 414 00:25:40,352 --> 00:25:43,655 My mother was always getting mixed up with the wrong guy. 415 00:25:43,656 --> 00:25:45,991 Father got out before I was born. 416 00:25:45,992 --> 00:25:47,492 Can't say I blame him. 417 00:25:47,493 --> 00:25:48,493 You ever try and find him? 418 00:25:48,494 --> 00:25:51,495 I heard he had an uncle in the east. 419 00:25:51,496 --> 00:25:53,432 That's why I came out here originally. 420 00:25:53,433 --> 00:25:55,166 He wasn't much use though. 421 00:25:55,167 --> 00:25:57,168 You still close to your mother? 422 00:25:57,169 --> 00:26:01,138 I grew up using her as a model of who not to be. 423 00:26:01,139 --> 00:26:05,409 When I was about seven, she finally seemed to get her life on track. 424 00:26:05,410 --> 00:26:09,681 Stopped drinking, met a guy from a wealthy family. 425 00:26:09,682 --> 00:26:11,683 She always wanted me to be provided for, 426 00:26:11,684 --> 00:26:14,288 so he agreed to put something aside for me. 427 00:26:15,253 --> 00:26:19,225 It was good for a while. For a while. 428 00:26:22,395 --> 00:26:24,730 He never laid a hand on me, 429 00:26:24,731 --> 00:26:28,402 but I decided then and there I would never be a victim. 430 00:26:40,112 --> 00:26:42,481 It's important to keep promises to yourself. 431 00:26:45,318 --> 00:26:47,087 Isn't it? 432 00:26:49,621 --> 00:26:52,091 This the photo she showed you? 433 00:26:55,695 --> 00:26:58,999 I knew I was gonna do what it took to help her. 434 00:27:02,769 --> 00:27:07,071 At first it's, "You know you like it rough, don't you, babe?" 435 00:27:07,072 --> 00:27:09,374 Makes you feel like you're always the one at fault. 436 00:27:09,375 --> 00:27:12,512 If I hadn't done this, hadn't said that. 437 00:27:14,246 --> 00:27:16,447 You look in the mirror one morning and realize... 438 00:27:16,448 --> 00:27:18,582 it's not only your mother's eyes you've got, 439 00:27:18,583 --> 00:27:21,020 it's the bruises around them. 440 00:27:23,089 --> 00:27:25,724 Is that why you called me? 441 00:27:25,725 --> 00:27:27,494 I called you... 442 00:27:29,294 --> 00:27:31,195 to get drunk. 443 00:27:31,196 --> 00:27:33,732 That when she told you she was married? 444 00:27:33,733 --> 00:27:36,201 Not in so many words. 445 00:27:36,202 --> 00:27:39,570 More the way she didn't say what she didn't say? 446 00:27:39,571 --> 00:27:41,273 So who was she? 447 00:27:42,641 --> 00:27:44,242 The one who got to you. 448 00:27:44,243 --> 00:27:47,279 What makes you think there was only one? 449 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:51,484 Devil takes many forms, but there's really only one. 450 00:27:52,484 --> 00:27:54,718 You should've been a priest. 451 00:27:54,719 --> 00:27:58,522 Not an option for a woman. 452 00:27:58,523 --> 00:28:00,494 I'd make a terrible nun. 453 00:28:02,861 --> 00:28:04,463 There's always one who sets the standard. 454 00:28:04,464 --> 00:28:08,366 For most guys, it's the girl in college who barely knew they existed. 455 00:28:08,367 --> 00:28:10,604 There were a couple of those, I guess. 456 00:28:12,105 --> 00:28:14,239 It's just as well. 457 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,308 If you'd gathered the courage to talk to her, 458 00:28:16,309 --> 00:28:19,178 you would've noticed her teeth aren't perfect. 459 00:28:19,811 --> 00:28:22,114 Her eyes are slightly askew. 460 00:28:22,115 --> 00:28:24,816 You ever notice how it's always those quirks... 461 00:28:24,817 --> 00:28:27,616 we find the most charming in the beginning... 462 00:28:27,628 --> 00:28:30,101 become the most irritating over time? 463 00:28:31,590 --> 00:28:33,392 What about you? 464 00:28:37,696 --> 00:28:40,300 I'm more comfortable on this side. 465 00:28:41,734 --> 00:28:43,502 As long as there's no tape in it. 466 00:28:43,503 --> 00:28:45,605 It's digital. No tape. 467 00:28:46,671 --> 00:28:50,641 It was high school, backseat of his car. 468 00:28:50,642 --> 00:28:53,345 I wish I could be more original. 469 00:28:54,813 --> 00:28:59,349 He plays it cool, a little smile on his face. 470 00:29:00,285 --> 00:29:05,225 But in that smile is a world of expectation and sadness. 471 00:29:07,426 --> 00:29:11,098 The flower is beautiful, but it dies. 472 00:29:12,465 --> 00:29:15,301 The girl is fertile, but she will age. 473 00:29:19,571 --> 00:29:24,477 They won't find each other in an old age home at the sunny edge of the world. 474 00:29:25,578 --> 00:29:27,247 Won't wind up in L.A. 475 00:29:28,281 --> 00:29:32,418 This is their moment, and they better take it. 476 00:29:48,967 --> 00:29:51,602 If there's anything you need to tell me... 477 00:29:51,603 --> 00:29:53,704 about your relationship with this young woman, 478 00:29:53,705 --> 00:29:55,740 now would be the time. 479 00:29:55,741 --> 00:29:57,710 I needed to know if it was possible to know... 480 00:29:57,711 --> 00:30:00,311 I needed to know if it was possible to know someone... 481 00:30:00,312 --> 00:30:03,416 - I love you. - Really know someone. 482 00:30:04,783 --> 00:30:06,850 I always have. 483 00:30:06,851 --> 00:30:09,553 I wanted to know what was real... 484 00:30:09,554 --> 00:30:12,691 Our souls were born together at the beginning of time. 485 00:30:12,692 --> 00:30:16,295 And what was just some kind of image of her in my head. 486 00:30:16,296 --> 00:30:18,396 I love you. I love you. I always have. 487 00:30:18,397 --> 00:30:20,633 Our souls were born together at the beginning of time. 488 00:30:20,634 --> 00:30:22,233 I love you. I always have. 489 00:30:22,234 --> 00:30:26,404 I always have. Our souls were born together at the beginning of time. 490 00:30:26,405 --> 00:30:29,273 Our souls were born together at the beginning of time. 491 00:30:29,274 --> 00:30:32,211 I love you. I love you. 492 00:30:34,513 --> 00:30:37,583 Our souls were born together at the beginning of time. 493 00:30:44,523 --> 00:30:48,893 It wasn't in college. We met at the museum. 494 00:30:48,894 --> 00:30:50,794 Impressionists? 495 00:30:50,795 --> 00:30:53,232 How'd you know? 496 00:30:54,433 --> 00:30:57,737 You always find the best women in the impressionist wing. 497 00:30:57,738 --> 00:30:59,572 We went out a couple of times. 498 00:31:00,406 --> 00:31:02,273 She invites me back to her place, 499 00:31:02,274 --> 00:31:04,041 and we're sitting on the couch. 500 00:31:04,042 --> 00:31:06,877 When she gets up to throw a log in the fire, 501 00:31:06,878 --> 00:31:10,350 I notice a slight stiffness in her step. 502 00:31:11,016 --> 00:31:14,752 Somehow that tiny sign of age... 503 00:31:14,753 --> 00:31:17,323 made her real for me. 504 00:31:17,990 --> 00:31:21,761 She was perfected by her imperfections. 505 00:31:23,029 --> 00:31:25,964 And in that moment, I can see the future. 506 00:31:25,965 --> 00:31:28,433 We will move together into the bright haze, 507 00:31:28,434 --> 00:31:31,703 fighting age and decay, losing gloriously. 508 00:31:31,704 --> 00:31:36,608 I will come to love her cancer scars, her arthritic knee. 509 00:31:36,609 --> 00:31:39,977 And I know that sex and love are just animal things, 510 00:31:39,978 --> 00:31:43,350 the genes liking what's good for them. 511 00:31:44,082 --> 00:31:47,551 But maybe there's another possibility. 512 00:31:47,552 --> 00:31:50,454 If love is more than the sum of its parts, 513 00:31:50,455 --> 00:31:54,526 maybe we are more than the sum of our parts. 514 00:31:56,395 --> 00:31:58,996 But there's another future. 515 00:31:58,997 --> 00:32:02,468 She will leave me, or I'll leave her. 516 00:32:03,401 --> 00:32:06,372 I'll feel the pain but only for a while. 517 00:32:07,505 --> 00:32:10,809 And I know that if I ran into her a year later, 518 00:32:10,810 --> 00:32:14,346 she won't be someone that I could imagine falling in love with. 519 00:32:14,347 --> 00:32:16,850 In fact, I'll question that I ever did at all. 520 00:32:18,451 --> 00:32:20,551 So which future did you choose? 521 00:32:20,552 --> 00:32:24,356 Sometimes the scorpion stings you, 522 00:32:24,357 --> 00:32:26,593 even if it means he'll drown too. 523 00:32:30,562 --> 00:32:33,867 When I was little, my mother told me about the saints. 524 00:32:36,135 --> 00:32:38,636 Saint Jude was always my favorite. 525 00:32:38,637 --> 00:32:41,707 Patron saint of lost causes. 526 00:32:49,148 --> 00:32:51,484 Why did you really call me? 527 00:32:56,522 --> 00:32:58,522 I agreed to help her out with Pruitt, 528 00:32:58,523 --> 00:33:00,459 but there was a condition. 529 00:33:02,128 --> 00:33:05,799 She still hadn't told me why she was crying that day I met her on the train. 530 00:33:09,935 --> 00:33:12,637 He was a brave man once. 531 00:33:12,638 --> 00:33:15,441 He was in Cuba on business during the revolution. 532 00:33:15,442 --> 00:33:19,778 Somehow he managed to convince both sides he was with them. 533 00:33:19,779 --> 00:33:23,647 He infiltrated the guerrillas on behalf of the government, 534 00:33:23,648 --> 00:33:26,919 told the revolutionaries he was gathering intelligence for them. 535 00:33:28,154 --> 00:33:31,423 Both sides suspected he was C.I.A. 536 00:33:31,424 --> 00:33:34,728 I think eventually even he didn't know what the truth was. 537 00:33:35,927 --> 00:33:39,799 One time he was able to warn a village about a coming attack. 538 00:33:41,533 --> 00:33:44,536 About a dozen families escaped. 539 00:33:51,109 --> 00:33:53,513 Do you have chocolate? 540 00:33:57,015 --> 00:33:59,684 I need you to do this for me, Danny. 541 00:33:59,685 --> 00:34:03,588 What will following him with my camera give you? 542 00:34:03,589 --> 00:34:04,858 Ammunition. 543 00:34:06,458 --> 00:34:08,659 Not everybody has a double life. 544 00:34:08,660 --> 00:34:10,995 Not everybody has a secret. 545 00:34:10,996 --> 00:34:13,400 That's where you're wrong. 546 00:34:14,732 --> 00:34:17,868 You assumed the elderly gentleman was her great uncle? 547 00:34:17,869 --> 00:34:21,972 I imagine he was just some old-timer she used as a prop. 548 00:34:21,973 --> 00:34:24,642 She was very good with stories. 549 00:34:24,643 --> 00:34:27,479 That's when you agreed to follow Carl Pruitt. 550 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,648 He was a criminal defense lawyer. 551 00:34:29,649 --> 00:34:33,051 I knew he'd have some unsavory associations, 552 00:34:33,052 --> 00:34:34,954 but I didn't think much of it. 553 00:34:34,955 --> 00:34:36,921 You were led to believe this ammunition... 554 00:34:36,922 --> 00:34:39,591 was for a potential divorce proceeding? 555 00:34:39,592 --> 00:34:41,926 She never actually mentioned divorce. 556 00:34:41,927 --> 00:34:43,026 Right. 557 00:34:43,027 --> 00:34:45,998 The way she didn't say what she didn't say. 558 00:34:49,768 --> 00:34:52,972 About a week in, it started to get interesting. 559 00:34:54,806 --> 00:34:58,042 That was the first time you saw James Fenetree? 560 00:34:58,043 --> 00:35:03,247 Well, we weren't formally introduced, but, yeah, that's him. 561 00:35:03,248 --> 00:35:05,784 Of course we already know that. 562 00:35:09,889 --> 00:35:13,591 For the record, I didn't leave her. 563 00:35:13,592 --> 00:35:16,794 So, sometimes the scorpion gets stung too. 564 00:35:16,795 --> 00:35:20,932 You replay the last weeks and days looking for a reason. 565 00:35:20,933 --> 00:35:24,737 Did you say something wrong, commit some callous act? 566 00:35:25,571 --> 00:35:28,772 Can it really be so fragile? 567 00:35:28,773 --> 00:35:30,844 Or you can move on. 568 00:35:31,844 --> 00:35:33,945 Envy those couples who've been together so long... 569 00:35:33,946 --> 00:35:36,247 they can't remember why. 570 00:35:36,248 --> 00:35:39,886 In the land of the one-eyed, envy the blind. 571 00:35:45,023 --> 00:35:49,093 With the Americans approaching, they were in a hurry... 572 00:35:49,094 --> 00:35:51,229 to finish up with us. 573 00:35:51,230 --> 00:35:53,532 Finally it would be my turn. 574 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,837 I thought back to the little girl by the train. 575 00:35:58,770 --> 00:36:03,707 In a place where evil seemed so big... 576 00:36:03,708 --> 00:36:06,109 Also so small, 577 00:36:06,110 --> 00:36:07,846 so everyday... 578 00:36:09,214 --> 00:36:11,649 I believed... 579 00:36:11,650 --> 00:36:16,687 that this one little act of kindness saved my life. 580 00:36:16,688 --> 00:36:19,591 I had to know that there was something else, 581 00:36:19,592 --> 00:36:24,564 some people existed who could be good and kind. 582 00:36:34,739 --> 00:36:38,911 You didn't notice anything odd about the picture she showed you of Carl Pruitt? 583 00:36:39,811 --> 00:36:41,345 Not exactly a family portrait. 584 00:36:41,346 --> 00:36:43,815 That's taken with a telephoto lens. 585 00:36:44,882 --> 00:36:46,950 Well, she doesn't like getting her photograph taken. 586 00:36:46,951 --> 00:36:49,955 Right. The aborigines. 587 00:36:51,357 --> 00:36:53,890 I guess I took a lot on faith. 588 00:36:53,891 --> 00:36:57,095 Well, I thought all you movie people were atheists. 589 00:36:57,096 --> 00:36:59,565 Only when it comes to God. 590 00:37:00,199 --> 00:37:04,669 In the morning, so much excitement. 591 00:37:04,670 --> 00:37:06,738 The camp guards have disappeared. 592 00:37:06,739 --> 00:37:08,340 People are running around. 593 00:37:08,341 --> 00:37:11,109 The Americans have liberated the camp. 594 00:37:11,110 --> 00:37:13,711 They had hot food for us... 595 00:37:13,712 --> 00:37:17,849 Just some broth with a little meat. 596 00:37:17,850 --> 00:37:22,919 But it was so long since I had had anything so hot and good, 597 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:28,026 I ate it so quickly that the little cross came loose, and I almost choked. 598 00:37:28,027 --> 00:37:30,662 Just think about it... 599 00:37:30,663 --> 00:37:34,999 If after all I'd been through I had choked... 600 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,936 on this kind gift. 601 00:37:39,270 --> 00:37:42,707 I took it out of my mouth... 602 00:37:42,708 --> 00:37:46,112 and hung it round my neck. 603 00:37:47,813 --> 00:37:50,750 A Jewish boy wearing a cross? 604 00:37:51,382 --> 00:37:53,950 I got tired of explaining. 605 00:37:53,951 --> 00:37:56,955 So if they thought I'd converted, let them. 606 00:38:01,694 --> 00:38:04,227 I'd seen Pruitt go into the building a couple of times, 607 00:38:04,228 --> 00:38:06,230 so I decided to get a better look. 608 00:38:34,426 --> 00:38:36,026 Ever seen him before? 609 00:38:36,027 --> 00:38:37,495 His name's Spider. 610 00:38:37,496 --> 00:38:39,263 Of course. 611 00:38:39,264 --> 00:38:41,966 Carl represented him a few times. 612 00:38:41,967 --> 00:38:45,269 He's required to do a certain amount of pro bono work. 613 00:38:45,270 --> 00:38:46,370 And Spider? 614 00:38:46,371 --> 00:38:49,807 He's a provider. Drugs, girls, you name it. 615 00:38:49,808 --> 00:38:52,078 Carl likes to get paid one way or another. 616 00:39:13,766 --> 00:39:15,968 Are you asking for the time? 617 00:39:17,402 --> 00:39:19,839 Do I need some kind of wrist band? 618 00:39:21,339 --> 00:39:23,775 It ain't part of the club. 619 00:39:24,976 --> 00:39:27,310 I wasn't getting past this guy anyway, 620 00:39:27,311 --> 00:39:29,347 so I figured I'd come back another night. 621 00:39:29,348 --> 00:39:31,149 He had to take a break sooner or later. 622 00:39:31,150 --> 00:39:33,852 You didn't think you might be getting in over your head? 623 00:39:33,853 --> 00:39:37,089 Ever try and jump off a moving train? 624 00:39:38,056 --> 00:39:40,057 If there's anything you need to tell me... 625 00:39:40,058 --> 00:39:42,426 about your relationship with this young woman, 626 00:39:42,427 --> 00:39:44,262 now would be the time. 627 00:39:44,263 --> 00:39:45,830 I thought I wasn't a suspect. 628 00:39:45,831 --> 00:39:49,867 Yet you're willing to walk into a potentially dangerous situation... 629 00:39:49,868 --> 00:39:52,403 armed with a video camera. 630 00:39:52,404 --> 00:39:55,039 I guess I wanted to know what was real... 631 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:59,277 and what was just some kind of image of her in my head. 632 00:40:01,112 --> 00:40:04,448 I needed to know if it was possible to know someone, 633 00:40:04,449 --> 00:40:07,220 really know someone. 634 00:40:09,321 --> 00:40:12,891 It seemed very important. 635 00:40:24,435 --> 00:40:28,907 My wife died last year. Thirty years. 636 00:40:30,875 --> 00:40:34,703 I got the call I'm usually the one making. 637 00:40:34,715 --> 00:40:35,979 Car accident. 638 00:40:35,980 --> 00:40:39,216 Funny thing is, she wasn't even supposed to go out that night, 639 00:40:39,217 --> 00:40:42,252 but she did go out. 640 00:40:42,253 --> 00:40:46,926 She was going out to see the guy she was screwing. 641 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:52,330 For weeks I bounced between anger, hurt, loss. 642 00:40:52,331 --> 00:40:58,401 The hardest thing was jumping from one feeling to the next. 643 00:40:58,402 --> 00:41:00,937 I couldn't get a foothold. 644 00:41:00,938 --> 00:41:05,142 So finally I decided to pick one emotion. 645 00:41:05,143 --> 00:41:07,544 I tried to remember who she was... 646 00:41:07,545 --> 00:41:10,548 and why I loved her. 647 00:41:10,549 --> 00:41:14,285 And then when the dark feelings would rise, 648 00:41:14,286 --> 00:41:15,486 I would... 649 00:41:15,487 --> 00:41:19,423 What do you call it when you turn lead into gold? 650 00:41:19,424 --> 00:41:21,191 Alchemy. 651 00:41:21,192 --> 00:41:26,296 I'd take everything about her, even the things I hated, 652 00:41:26,297 --> 00:41:29,332 and I'd tell her in my mind how that made me love her... 653 00:41:29,333 --> 00:41:33,873 because that's what made her who she was, even the flaws. 654 00:41:37,576 --> 00:41:39,946 I see it every day. 655 00:41:42,214 --> 00:41:44,948 Love a person half your life, then wake up one morning... 656 00:41:44,949 --> 00:41:48,551 and you can't find a single thing about them not to hate. 657 00:41:48,552 --> 00:41:51,321 I've seen women carved to ribbons by men... 658 00:41:51,322 --> 00:41:55,261 who two days ago would have jumped in front of a truck to save. 659 00:41:56,594 --> 00:41:58,930 I wasn't gonna let that happen. 660 00:41:59,998 --> 00:42:02,969 I wasn't gonna turn gold to lead. 661 00:42:04,201 --> 00:42:05,871 Did it work? 662 00:42:06,404 --> 00:42:08,006 Sometimes. 663 00:42:12,177 --> 00:42:14,445 You know, there's a tab on the camera menu, 664 00:42:14,446 --> 00:42:16,347 you can turn off the tally light? 665 00:42:16,348 --> 00:42:20,018 That way the suspect doesn't know he's being recorded. 666 00:42:21,552 --> 00:42:25,324 You're good. You share. I share. 667 00:42:29,293 --> 00:42:30,961 Was it true? 668 00:42:30,962 --> 00:42:35,267 Didn't Jesus say, "What is truth"? 669 00:42:36,634 --> 00:42:39,370 Actually, I think it was Pilate. 670 00:42:39,371 --> 00:42:44,343 Eventually I made my way to New York. 671 00:42:45,377 --> 00:42:48,713 I found work with a relative who sold small gifts, 672 00:42:48,714 --> 00:42:52,249 religious trinkets from the church. 673 00:42:52,250 --> 00:42:55,051 He always made fun of me anyway. 674 00:42:55,052 --> 00:42:58,388 "The goy," he called me because of the cross. 675 00:42:58,389 --> 00:43:01,492 "Go out and sell the saints." 676 00:43:01,493 --> 00:43:06,398 So every day I went to the cart out on Coney Island. 677 00:43:07,431 --> 00:43:12,135 I couldn't believe how happy all the people were... 678 00:43:12,136 --> 00:43:15,740 just for nothing, for some cotton candy... 679 00:43:15,741 --> 00:43:19,078 and a few silly rides. 680 00:43:19,744 --> 00:43:23,680 This happiness was more foreign to me... 681 00:43:23,681 --> 00:43:26,118 than the new language. 682 00:43:27,786 --> 00:43:30,687 One day I'm pushing my cart... 683 00:43:30,688 --> 00:43:36,026 when this pretty young woman approaches to buy something for her niece. 684 00:43:36,027 --> 00:43:40,765 I hear she has an accent, so we start talking German. 685 00:43:40,766 --> 00:43:45,336 I never talked about my experience... 686 00:43:45,337 --> 00:43:49,173 with a Gentile, certainly not a German. 687 00:43:49,174 --> 00:43:53,443 But she was so kind, so gentle, 688 00:43:53,444 --> 00:43:56,479 I let her know I was a Jew. 689 00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,118 She could figure out the rest. 690 00:44:00,085 --> 00:44:04,622 So much was different between us, 691 00:44:04,623 --> 00:44:07,591 and yet it was so easy to talk to her. 692 00:44:07,592 --> 00:44:10,329 I never forget her smile. 693 00:44:12,096 --> 00:44:14,832 Finally she buys a trinket, 694 00:44:14,833 --> 00:44:18,334 and I reach down to put it in a bag, 695 00:44:18,335 --> 00:44:21,071 and the cross comes out from under my shirt. 696 00:44:21,072 --> 00:44:24,042 Her eyes get very big... 697 00:44:24,810 --> 00:44:28,345 like two blue pools of water. 698 00:44:28,346 --> 00:44:31,781 "Where did you get this?" she asks. 699 00:44:31,782 --> 00:44:35,118 I don't want to tell her the whole story, 700 00:44:35,119 --> 00:44:38,354 but of course she already knew. 701 00:44:38,355 --> 00:44:43,128 "Why is a Jewish boy wearing a cross?" 702 00:44:46,163 --> 00:44:48,731 It seemed like forever. 703 00:44:48,732 --> 00:44:52,270 Neither of us said a thing. 704 00:44:53,105 --> 00:44:55,539 Then there are tears in her eyes. 705 00:44:55,540 --> 00:45:01,614 "I was punished when I told my parents I had lost it." 706 00:45:04,116 --> 00:45:06,883 I had found my savior, 707 00:45:06,884 --> 00:45:11,821 the little girl whose kindness had seen me through impossible times. 708 00:45:11,822 --> 00:45:15,191 I left the cart right there on the boardwalk, 709 00:45:15,192 --> 00:45:18,162 and we walked for hours, just talking... 710 00:45:18,163 --> 00:45:22,201 Two people so different. 711 00:45:23,268 --> 00:45:25,870 It was like we'd known each other our whole lives, 712 00:45:25,871 --> 00:45:28,307 which, of course, we had... 713 00:45:30,141 --> 00:45:33,111 in our imaginations. 714 00:45:34,212 --> 00:45:37,814 Seeing the worst that people are capable of, 715 00:45:37,815 --> 00:45:42,353 I had also seen in her the best. 716 00:45:44,556 --> 00:45:49,459 Now that I'd found her, I promised her, promised myself, 717 00:45:49,460 --> 00:45:52,397 I would never lose her again. 718 00:45:53,531 --> 00:45:56,634 And I've never broken that promise. 719 00:45:58,670 --> 00:46:01,771 I was wrong. 720 00:46:01,772 --> 00:46:05,843 You don't want to choose between a great love and a great story. 721 00:46:05,844 --> 00:46:09,446 You think that's what this is about? 722 00:46:09,447 --> 00:46:12,416 I woke up one morning, 723 00:46:12,417 --> 00:46:15,385 and I saw my mom standing over the kitchen sink, 724 00:46:15,386 --> 00:46:19,225 and suddenly I knew what hell was. 725 00:46:20,958 --> 00:46:24,330 You see the world, but you're not in it. 726 00:46:25,197 --> 00:46:27,700 People walk by your grave, 727 00:46:29,201 --> 00:46:32,505 laughing, alive, forgetting you. 728 00:46:33,737 --> 00:46:36,307 But still you remain, 729 00:46:36,308 --> 00:46:39,445 a bead of awareness in a universe of uncaring. 730 00:46:40,712 --> 00:46:43,248 But what if there's a way out? 731 00:46:46,284 --> 00:46:50,189 What if there's a bridge to just one moment, 732 00:46:51,223 --> 00:46:55,460 a story, a sentence of our lives? 733 00:46:56,328 --> 00:46:59,165 Do we become a part of that story? 734 00:47:01,398 --> 00:47:04,235 Does that become our eternity? 735 00:47:13,911 --> 00:47:16,648 I don't know why I didn't tell her about the Herzmans. 736 00:47:17,982 --> 00:47:20,451 I wonder if it saved my life. 737 00:47:22,786 --> 00:47:24,888 She took the cab down with me. 738 00:47:24,889 --> 00:47:29,461 The idea was I'd collect the footage and we'd meet later in a diner. 739 00:47:37,969 --> 00:47:39,737 You should have fought for her. 740 00:47:41,272 --> 00:47:43,774 You thought it was her imperfections that you loved, 741 00:47:43,775 --> 00:47:47,580 but it's really just the story. 742 00:47:48,446 --> 00:47:50,314 Makes you into a nicer guy... 743 00:47:50,315 --> 00:47:53,219 than the one who would've left her for someone younger. 744 00:47:53,884 --> 00:47:56,720 The great lost love has its appeal, 745 00:47:56,721 --> 00:47:58,623 even to a girl like me. 746 00:47:59,723 --> 00:48:00,990 Stories don't age and die. 747 00:48:00,991 --> 00:48:03,228 You can tell them over and over. 748 00:48:04,295 --> 00:48:07,532 Problem is, they always end the same. 749 00:50:00,444 --> 00:50:03,481 Seriously, man, what the fuck were you thinking? 750 00:50:05,683 --> 00:50:07,050 Fair question. 751 00:50:07,051 --> 00:50:09,487 I mean, what did you expect? 752 00:50:10,121 --> 00:50:11,821 Damned if I know. 753 00:50:11,822 --> 00:50:13,122 Damned if you don't. 754 00:50:13,123 --> 00:50:15,959 Good one. 755 00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,630 Yeah? Well, 756 00:50:23,034 --> 00:50:24,936 take it to the grave. 757 00:50:26,770 --> 00:50:28,205 What am I doing here? 758 00:50:28,206 --> 00:50:32,008 Hey, man, you chugged in here on your own steam. 759 00:50:32,009 --> 00:50:34,846 It was a rhetorical question. 760 00:50:36,014 --> 00:50:38,517 I was asking myself. 761 00:50:40,018 --> 00:50:42,721 I know what "rhetorical" means. 762 00:50:46,623 --> 00:50:48,526 No disrespect. 763 00:50:50,828 --> 00:50:53,830 You know what I like about vampire stories? 764 00:50:53,831 --> 00:50:56,000 The good ones, anyway. 765 00:50:57,201 --> 00:50:59,604 I couldn't begin to guess. 766 00:51:01,105 --> 00:51:05,511 The victim has to invite the vampire in. 767 00:51:12,549 --> 00:51:14,917 I think I might have misjudged you. 768 00:51:14,918 --> 00:51:16,989 It's a common mistake. 769 00:51:19,723 --> 00:51:22,024 Did you really think you could have her? 770 00:51:22,025 --> 00:51:25,229 Think she'd ever show you her real self? 771 00:51:25,238 --> 00:51:27,492 I guess I wasn't thinking. 772 00:51:27,497 --> 00:51:30,533 That's where you're wrong, partner. 773 00:51:30,536 --> 00:51:32,670 You think too much. 774 00:51:33,705 --> 00:51:37,573 Girl like Lexi, she isn't about thought. 775 00:51:38,541 --> 00:51:41,078 She tell you what floats her boat? 776 00:51:41,078 --> 00:51:45,140 Tell you to grab her hair, 777 00:51:45,141 --> 00:51:48,014 push her face into the pillows? 778 00:51:48,016 --> 00:51:49,829 Tell you she likes it rough? 779 00:51:57,628 --> 00:51:59,196 I just had a funny thought. 780 00:51:59,197 --> 00:52:01,798 Wouldn't think you'd be in a laughing mood. 781 00:52:01,799 --> 00:52:04,802 About a patron saint for lost causes. 782 00:52:05,536 --> 00:52:07,104 Yeah, that's one of her raps. 783 00:52:07,105 --> 00:52:10,941 Unlike you, I don't imagine I'm the first man she's told that to. 784 00:52:10,942 --> 00:52:14,580 Probably not the first to wear this around his neck either. 785 00:52:16,681 --> 00:52:19,983 You always believe women when they tell you you're their first? 786 00:52:19,984 --> 00:52:22,553 Actually I never believe that. 787 00:52:22,554 --> 00:52:27,059 Well, there's hope for you yet. 788 00:52:34,766 --> 00:52:37,633 You know, of course, that's a scorpion. 789 00:52:37,634 --> 00:52:40,704 And your name's Spider. Why do you... 790 00:52:40,705 --> 00:52:43,074 Why have you got a scorpion tattoo? 791 00:52:44,576 --> 00:52:46,343 You do have a right to remain silent. 792 00:52:46,344 --> 00:52:49,982 Hey, I'm just saying. Just saying. 793 00:52:53,083 --> 00:52:56,989 In the end, does all that smarts really pay off? 794 00:52:58,255 --> 00:53:02,793 I mean, look where I am. Look where you sit. 795 00:53:03,828 --> 00:53:05,227 Doesn't that strike you as funny? 796 00:53:05,228 --> 00:53:07,263 Well, not funny. 797 00:53:07,264 --> 00:53:10,536 I have this theory about smarts... 798 00:53:12,703 --> 00:53:15,006 That it gets in the way of seeing things. 799 00:53:16,773 --> 00:53:20,679 What? Did you think she cared? 800 00:53:22,212 --> 00:53:23,914 Just what I thought. 801 00:53:23,915 --> 00:53:26,918 Only a smart guy could be that fucking stupid. 802 00:53:36,094 --> 00:53:40,298 Here's another smart guy. See how fucking smart? 803 00:53:51,676 --> 00:53:55,211 So, want to hear the plan? 804 00:53:55,212 --> 00:53:59,649 Our girl asks you to get some dirt on old Carl over there, which isn't hard to do. 805 00:53:59,650 --> 00:54:02,051 He's much more interested in pain than women. 806 00:54:02,052 --> 00:54:03,320 What's the difference? 807 00:54:03,321 --> 00:54:06,423 But you wind up falling for her. 808 00:54:06,424 --> 00:54:10,094 Decide you have to have her. 809 00:54:13,130 --> 00:54:15,167 She brings that out in a man. 810 00:54:18,802 --> 00:54:20,038 Let me guess. 811 00:54:22,072 --> 00:54:23,741 I kill him. 812 00:54:33,016 --> 00:54:35,654 See? Those smarts again. 813 00:54:37,455 --> 00:54:40,993 Why do I kill him if she's going to leave him anyway? 814 00:54:42,460 --> 00:54:44,763 Hang on a minute. 815 00:55:00,110 --> 00:55:05,482 Because he put a fucking nail through your hand. 816 00:55:08,485 --> 00:55:10,787 Of course, I'd been following Pruitt, 817 00:55:10,788 --> 00:55:13,891 collecting all this footage, so it had a certain logic. 818 00:55:17,962 --> 00:55:19,697 Spider. 819 00:55:21,264 --> 00:55:22,833 Scorpion. 820 00:55:23,433 --> 00:55:25,970 Whatever your name is. Arachnid! 821 00:55:29,139 --> 00:55:31,341 You like pain or something? 822 00:55:31,342 --> 00:55:34,310 Look, I know smarts has its limitations, 823 00:55:34,311 --> 00:55:38,080 but dumb won't get you very far either. 824 00:55:38,081 --> 00:55:39,115 Seriously? 825 00:55:39,116 --> 00:55:41,184 You really think you're gonna end up... 826 00:55:41,185 --> 00:55:43,820 on a paradise island with her? 827 00:55:43,821 --> 00:55:45,756 You really don't know what's what, do you? 828 00:55:45,757 --> 00:55:47,025 - She's not real. - No? 829 00:55:47,028 --> 00:55:50,894 She only shows you what she needs to. 830 00:55:50,895 --> 00:55:55,064 See, a man like you will never get what she's about. 831 00:55:55,065 --> 00:55:57,834 Upper West Side pussy. 832 00:55:57,835 --> 00:56:00,970 Think I don't know you? 833 00:56:00,971 --> 00:56:05,876 You walk the line, afraid to give the littlest offense. 834 00:56:05,877 --> 00:56:09,312 Tell them what they wanna hear, fuck on their schedule, 835 00:56:09,313 --> 00:56:12,381 tiptoeing nine paces behind them. 836 00:56:12,382 --> 00:56:13,917 You're right, hoss. 837 00:56:13,918 --> 00:56:17,054 She'll never be real to you. 838 00:56:22,493 --> 00:56:24,862 Just about done here. 839 00:56:32,804 --> 00:56:35,773 And you thought the nail was a good idea because? 840 00:56:36,473 --> 00:56:38,109 He pisses me off. 841 00:56:38,942 --> 00:56:40,843 So let me get this straight. 842 00:56:40,844 --> 00:56:44,281 He kills Carl, and then he hammers a nail into his own hand. 843 00:56:46,417 --> 00:56:50,586 Carl fucks him up with the nail, but he gets himself free. 844 00:56:50,587 --> 00:56:53,088 He does Carl with the knife, 845 00:56:53,089 --> 00:56:57,061 and Carl has just enough left in him to put a bullet between his eyes. 846 00:57:00,096 --> 00:57:02,133 What did I say about improvising? 847 00:57:03,868 --> 00:57:05,770 Where is he? I want to see him. 848 00:57:25,956 --> 00:57:29,459 I've waited a long time. 849 00:57:29,460 --> 00:57:31,263 Who the fuck are you? 850 00:57:35,866 --> 00:57:38,167 Jesus. 851 00:57:38,168 --> 00:57:39,937 Now he's dead. 852 00:57:41,339 --> 00:57:43,074 He didn't know you. 853 00:57:46,409 --> 00:57:48,010 You have the gun? 854 00:57:48,011 --> 00:57:50,479 Cold as they come. 855 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:52,116 Why didn't he know you? 856 00:57:57,255 --> 00:58:00,589 No. Let me. 857 00:58:00,590 --> 00:58:02,860 You sure, babe? 858 00:58:03,627 --> 00:58:06,063 He's my responsibility. 859 00:58:11,168 --> 00:58:13,171 There's my girl. 860 00:58:20,578 --> 00:58:25,050 Come on. You can do better than that. 861 00:58:30,186 --> 00:58:33,090 If it makes a difference, I'm sorry. 862 00:58:36,060 --> 00:58:38,196 Can't blame the scorpion for stinging you. 863 00:58:44,101 --> 00:58:46,236 What was that she said? 864 00:58:46,237 --> 00:58:50,173 About living out an alternative future in the last instant of your life. 865 00:58:50,174 --> 00:58:52,475 ...future in the last instant of your life. 866 00:58:52,476 --> 00:58:55,479 Is that what all this has been? Is that what this is? 867 00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:58,481 Are you always the last to realize you're already dead? 868 00:58:58,482 --> 00:59:01,186 ...always the last to realize you're already dead all along? 869 00:59:02,152 --> 00:59:04,889 Maybe I should have been paying more attention. 870 00:59:06,056 --> 00:59:11,263 Well, that was the death that flashed before my eyes anyway. 871 00:59:24,174 --> 00:59:27,211 No. Let me. 872 00:59:28,746 --> 00:59:30,482 There's my girl. 873 00:59:48,331 --> 00:59:52,503 For the record, I never liked it rough. 874 00:59:57,475 --> 00:59:59,243 He pisses me off. 875 01:00:05,516 --> 01:00:07,151 You weren't what I thought. 876 01:00:07,152 --> 01:00:09,955 You're exactly what I thought. 877 01:00:27,103 --> 01:00:28,906 He won't be needing it. 878 01:00:32,777 --> 01:00:34,279 So where will you go? 879 01:00:35,311 --> 01:00:37,146 Someplace warm. 880 01:00:37,147 --> 01:00:40,349 Who will you be when you get there? 881 01:00:40,451 --> 01:00:43,989 You invented me as much as I invented myself, Danny. 882 01:00:46,723 --> 01:00:49,593 The vampire can't enter without an invitation. 883 01:00:53,764 --> 01:00:56,134 I knew he didn't come up with that line himself. 884 01:00:57,333 --> 01:01:00,471 You want me to tell you it was real for me? 885 01:01:01,337 --> 01:01:04,008 That I loved you if only for a moment? 886 01:01:05,476 --> 01:01:08,213 That's why you're alive and Spider's dead. 887 01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,248 Ok. 888 01:01:11,815 --> 01:01:13,551 I love you. 889 01:01:15,518 --> 01:01:17,287 I always have. 890 01:01:18,389 --> 01:01:21,359 Our souls were born together at the beginning of time. 891 01:01:23,226 --> 01:01:26,063 I can't tell you anything you don't already know. 892 01:01:33,503 --> 01:01:35,339 I believe you. 893 01:01:39,710 --> 01:01:42,179 Will you remember me? 894 01:01:44,248 --> 01:01:45,617 Safe bet. 895 01:01:53,523 --> 01:01:57,526 The thing is, even after everything, 896 01:01:57,527 --> 01:01:59,531 I wanted to believe. 897 01:02:01,132 --> 01:02:04,267 Duct-taped to a chair, nail through my hand, 898 01:02:04,268 --> 01:02:06,670 two dead guys on the floor, 899 01:02:08,505 --> 01:02:10,339 I still wanted to believe her. 900 01:02:10,340 --> 01:02:13,210 Homo creditus. Man the believer. 901 01:02:14,244 --> 01:02:15,746 Pretty fucking stupid? 902 01:02:15,747 --> 01:02:17,247 Just overmatched. 903 01:02:17,248 --> 01:02:20,283 They're smarter than us. You know that. 904 01:02:20,284 --> 01:02:23,320 At least you're not one of the dead guys on the floor. 905 01:02:23,321 --> 01:02:24,888 Does that make me a suspect? 906 01:02:24,889 --> 01:02:27,423 I don't think you killed Carl Pruitt. 907 01:02:27,424 --> 01:02:32,762 And I don't really think that she ever expected you to take the rap. 908 01:02:32,763 --> 01:02:37,566 My guess is her plan was to get rid of Pruitt and Spider at the same time. 909 01:02:37,567 --> 01:02:39,702 So why use me? 910 01:02:39,703 --> 01:02:41,738 What Spider lacked in moral clarity, 911 01:02:41,739 --> 01:02:43,705 he made up for in street smarts. 912 01:02:43,706 --> 01:02:46,441 He knew somebody would have to take the fall for Pruitt. 913 01:02:46,442 --> 01:02:49,211 Well, she convinced him it was you... 914 01:02:49,212 --> 01:02:51,446 so he wouldn't know it was him all along. 915 01:02:51,447 --> 01:02:52,683 But why kill Spider? 916 01:02:55,185 --> 01:02:58,388 I guess she had a short fuse on this kind of thing. 917 01:02:59,924 --> 01:03:01,592 Tell you she likes it rough? 918 01:03:05,196 --> 01:03:07,165 She was never married to Carl. 919 01:03:08,498 --> 01:03:10,200 He didn't seem to know her. 920 01:03:10,201 --> 01:03:11,901 He knew her. 921 01:03:11,902 --> 01:03:16,407 But I decided then and there I would never be a victim. 922 01:03:17,208 --> 01:03:19,177 The mother was married to him. 923 01:03:30,587 --> 01:03:31,955 He killed her. 924 01:03:31,956 --> 01:03:33,191 D.A. went for manslaughter. 925 01:03:33,192 --> 01:03:37,526 Carl claimed she came at him with a kitchen knife. 926 01:03:37,527 --> 01:03:39,296 He was acquitted. 927 01:03:41,898 --> 01:03:44,767 She never said she was married to him. 928 01:03:44,768 --> 01:03:46,468 What? 929 01:03:46,469 --> 01:03:48,638 Or that he was the one who beat her. She just... 930 01:03:48,639 --> 01:03:51,274 You look in the mirror one morning and realize... 931 01:03:51,275 --> 01:03:54,544 it's not only your mother's eyes you've got, it's the bruises around them. 932 01:03:54,545 --> 01:03:57,379 She just... 933 01:03:57,380 --> 01:03:59,749 She just let me fill in the blanks. 934 01:03:59,750 --> 01:04:03,586 Turns out the mother insisted that Carl set up a blind trust for Lexi... 935 01:04:03,587 --> 01:04:05,455 before she'd marry him. 936 01:04:05,456 --> 01:04:08,392 Carl stipulated the trust wouldn't go into effect... 937 01:04:08,393 --> 01:04:10,526 until he and the mother died. 938 01:04:10,527 --> 01:04:12,495 She always wanted me to be provided for, 939 01:04:12,496 --> 01:04:14,999 so he agreed to put something aside for me. 940 01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:17,734 She cleaned out the trust three days ago. 941 01:04:20,770 --> 01:04:25,274 I imagine she hooked up with Spider as a way to get to Pruitt. 942 01:04:25,275 --> 01:04:28,745 He'd represented him on a couple of drug beefs. 943 01:04:29,813 --> 01:04:33,785 Once Spider laid a hand on her, his fate was set. 944 01:04:44,795 --> 01:04:46,963 You knew all along. 945 01:04:46,964 --> 01:04:49,365 Be nice if we could see the rest of the room. 946 01:04:49,366 --> 01:04:51,934 Well, I'll be more careful next time I drop my camera. 947 01:04:51,935 --> 01:04:55,505 You will get me the footage that you've been collecting? 948 01:04:56,639 --> 01:04:57,708 So I'm free to go? 949 01:05:02,946 --> 01:05:05,580 I am curious though. 950 01:05:05,581 --> 01:05:09,952 Earlier you mentioned something about that couple, the Herzmans. 951 01:05:09,953 --> 01:05:12,021 Something you never told her. 952 01:05:12,022 --> 01:05:14,457 I didn't want him to do this. Never. 953 01:05:14,458 --> 01:05:17,426 I was in the camps, just as I said. 954 01:05:17,427 --> 01:05:20,729 And I saw many trains pass by with prisoners. 955 01:05:20,730 --> 01:05:22,999 But I never even saw Morris. 956 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:26,836 That day on Coney Island was the first time we met. 957 01:05:26,837 --> 01:05:29,939 We fell in love and were married. 958 01:05:29,940 --> 01:05:32,642 The important parts are true. 959 01:05:32,643 --> 01:05:36,512 But the story of the girl with the cross? Your angel? 960 01:05:36,513 --> 01:05:37,848 That I made up. 961 01:05:40,016 --> 01:05:42,484 It was just a trinket he was selling. 962 01:05:42,485 --> 01:05:46,856 I thought it was so funny, you know, a Jewish boy selling crosses. 963 01:05:46,857 --> 01:05:49,024 I've worn it ever since. 964 01:05:49,025 --> 01:05:51,493 But it's not even real. 965 01:05:51,494 --> 01:05:55,765 Of course it's real. It's just not real gold. 966 01:05:55,766 --> 01:05:58,769 When the book publishers did their fact checking, 967 01:05:58,770 --> 01:06:01,738 they found that the dates and places didn't match. 968 01:06:01,739 --> 01:06:05,376 Morris came clean, but of course he lost the book and movie deal. 969 01:06:05,377 --> 01:06:07,778 Why'd he do it? For the money? 970 01:06:09,011 --> 01:06:11,613 Not exactly. 971 01:06:11,614 --> 01:06:15,952 It was a wonderful story. It made people happy. 972 01:06:15,953 --> 01:06:18,421 But it's not true. 973 01:06:18,422 --> 01:06:21,591 Agh! It made them feel good. 974 01:06:21,592 --> 01:06:24,595 Do you care when you read a novel that it didn't really happen? 975 01:06:24,596 --> 01:06:29,499 Are you angry at Shakespeare because Juliet never said those words? 976 01:06:29,500 --> 01:06:33,603 Our love is real. Fifty years. 977 01:06:34,404 --> 01:06:36,807 That part is real. 978 01:06:37,808 --> 01:06:39,642 So what's more important? 979 01:06:39,643 --> 01:06:44,180 I gave them something beautiful, and now it's gone. 980 01:06:44,181 --> 01:06:46,550 Is there too much beauty in the world? 981 01:06:46,551 --> 01:06:50,888 Believe me, where I was there wasn't so much beauty. 982 01:06:51,922 --> 01:06:55,725 A story like this would've given those poor souls... 983 01:06:55,726 --> 01:06:59,630 more hope than a hundred gold crosses. 984 01:07:03,167 --> 01:07:06,202 That's why I was on the train when I saw Lexi the second time. 985 01:07:06,203 --> 01:07:09,741 I was on my way up to do the follow-up interview with the Herzmans. 986 01:07:13,143 --> 01:07:15,513 You will get me that footage. 987 01:07:16,547 --> 01:07:20,650 You're welcome to it. She never let me shoot her. 988 01:07:21,451 --> 01:07:23,487 Maybe she was right after all. 989 01:07:24,987 --> 01:07:27,424 About it capturing your soul. 990 01:07:41,071 --> 01:07:46,944 She asked me if I'd choose the great love or the great story. 991 01:07:48,946 --> 01:07:50,714 But is there a difference really? 992 01:07:51,647 --> 01:07:54,149 In the end, you aren't who you think you are. 993 01:07:54,150 --> 01:07:56,818 You're who I perceive you to be. 994 01:07:56,819 --> 01:08:00,490 In the world of matter, you are uncontrollable, unpredictable, 995 01:08:00,491 --> 01:08:03,758 a babble of random motion. 996 01:08:03,759 --> 01:08:08,497 I capture you in a net of words, and you are known, if only for a moment. 997 01:08:08,498 --> 01:08:11,133 We imagine we create words. 998 01:08:11,134 --> 01:08:14,070 But what if they create us? 999 01:08:14,071 --> 01:08:17,573 This is the secret poets know. 1000 01:08:17,574 --> 01:08:21,910 Words are incantations weaving magic spells. 1001 01:08:21,911 --> 01:08:26,882 If the word initiated the universe into existence, 1002 01:08:26,883 --> 01:08:28,585 what will close it? 1003 01:08:31,588 --> 01:08:33,857 Why didn't I tell Detective Martin? 1004 01:08:33,858 --> 01:08:37,927 I guess I was never purely victim or suspect. 1005 01:08:37,928 --> 01:08:40,865 You could say I was an accomplice of sorts. 1006 01:08:44,101 --> 01:08:45,870 Check my heart. 1007 01:09:03,053 --> 01:09:07,657 Why did I give her the memory card, let her keep her soul? 1008 01:09:08,991 --> 01:09:11,928 Why did I go back there, knowing? 1009 01:09:14,697 --> 01:09:18,503 Sometimes you just have to find out how the story ends. 1010 01:09:19,770 --> 01:09:23,874 Of course, I did back it up to my hard drive. 1011 01:10:10,887 --> 01:10:13,888 I really do miss our conversations, Danny. 1012 01:10:13,889 --> 01:10:17,093 But this time I'm just going to have to imagine your side. 1013 01:10:18,160 --> 01:10:20,328 In a way, it's just as well... 1014 01:10:20,329 --> 01:10:23,100 since we can't ever really know each other, can we? 1015 01:10:24,735 --> 01:10:27,369 Men and women, people and people, 1016 01:10:27,370 --> 01:10:30,006 we're all alone in the end. 1017 01:10:30,007 --> 01:10:31,807 But maybe that's ok. 1018 01:10:31,808 --> 01:10:36,311 It's what makes us hope and fear and sometimes love each other. 1019 01:10:36,312 --> 01:10:38,013 It's what keeps us awake at night... 1020 01:10:38,014 --> 01:10:42,985 and makes us pull the blankets over our head against the glare of morning. 1021 01:10:42,986 --> 01:10:46,323 It's the throbbing in your brain at 4:00 a.m. as you look for the bathroom... 1022 01:10:46,324 --> 01:10:50,727 in some stranger's apartment to piss out the chemicals from the night before. 1023 01:10:51,928 --> 01:10:54,797 It's fingers scratching across tiles, 1024 01:10:54,798 --> 01:10:58,167 my knees pointed at the ceiling, my back arched like a cat's. 1025 01:10:58,168 --> 01:11:01,436 Love is a religion, a denial of death, 1026 01:11:01,437 --> 01:11:03,939 a descent into fiction and improbability, 1027 01:11:03,940 --> 01:11:07,677 a lighting of candles, a bridge to the impossible, 1028 01:11:07,678 --> 01:11:10,980 a lunatic babbling on the uptown I.R.T. 1029 01:11:10,981 --> 01:11:15,717 It is this tenement basement with its stink of cockroach and death. 1030 01:11:15,718 --> 01:11:17,253 It is Jesus above Rio. 1031 01:11:17,254 --> 01:11:19,288 ...denial of death. 1032 01:11:19,289 --> 01:11:22,725 It is sex and it's withering. 1033 01:11:22,726 --> 01:11:24,959 It is blood on the floor. 1034 01:11:24,960 --> 01:11:28,864 You will kill for it and die for it. 1035 01:11:28,865 --> 01:11:30,433 It is hope and the death of hope. 1036 01:11:30,434 --> 01:11:34,871 You'll open its shroud and see your face etched in dirt and sweat. 1037 01:11:36,173 --> 01:11:39,376 It fills you and empties you in the same heartbeat. 1038 01:11:39,377 --> 01:11:41,843 A bridge to the impossible. 1039 01:11:41,844 --> 01:11:44,481 It is hope and the death of hope. 1040 01:11:48,985 --> 01:11:51,787 Love without sex is life without death. 1041 01:11:51,788 --> 01:11:55,958 Sex without danger is God without the devil. 1042 01:11:55,959 --> 01:11:59,196 If you can't risk being damned, don't imagine you can ever love. 1043 01:12:00,262 --> 01:12:01,997 Love straps your arms to the cross, 1044 01:12:01,998 --> 01:12:04,499 drives nails through your hands and feet. 1045 01:12:04,500 --> 01:12:06,836 Love is the spear that pierces your side... 1046 01:12:06,837 --> 01:12:09,807 and the blood and the gall that splashes to the ground. 1047 01:12:10,840 --> 01:12:12,775 It is a rag of vinegar pressed to your lips... 1048 01:12:12,776 --> 01:12:15,012 and the thorn pushed into your scalp. 1049 01:12:17,981 --> 01:12:21,484 It is a desert mirage, an echo in a cave, 1050 01:12:21,485 --> 01:12:24,520 your own words returning to mock you. 1051 01:12:24,521 --> 01:12:27,890 It's every great painting you'll ever see... 1052 01:12:27,891 --> 01:12:30,729 and the way we know art from the scratchings... 1053 01:12:30,741 --> 01:12:33,074 an elephant can make with his trunk. 1054 01:13:17,807 --> 01:13:20,009 Hard center or soft? 1055 01:13:23,346 --> 01:13:25,148 Soft. 1056 01:13:53,375 --> 01:13:56,346 Never much cared for the hard center. 1057 01:13:59,081 --> 01:14:00,785 Nor I. 9999 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000